There has been a lot of talk about people being bullied lately. I have seen numerous articles and newscasts regarding bullying. Teenagers who have ignored it, teenagers who killed themselves because of it, teenagers who are fighting back against it. I fear though that people think that bullying is "new", this is definitely is not true, it is just getting more media attention now then it has in the past. I graduated from high school about 9 years ago, bullying was just as present then as it is now. Maybe more present because it wasn't as known about as it is now. I know this, because, I was a victim, I was bullied every single school day of my 4 years in high school. I hated high school, I didn't want to go because when I did I suffered.
My freshman year of high school I was nominated for homecoming court as a joke. This was the first and only time I "fought back" against the bullying. I participated in everything the homecoming court nominees do, the rally's and spirit week stuff. I wasn't going to let "them" get to me. I got a pretty skirt and shirt to wear, and I wore my smile proudly. I knew I wouldn't win, but I didn't let anyone get me down. I loved it. My neighbor's daughter Kristin did my makeup for the day, and I remember feeling pretty special.
I don't really remember what changed, but I lost that "fight" I had shortly after homecoming.
Before school, breaks, and lunches were spent "hiding" in classrooms. I would do homework or just sit there bored because that was better then leaving the room and hearing my peers poke fun at me. I would often hear; "Boom, Boom, Boom", "Whale", "Earthquake!", or "MOOO" when I walked by. There were three people who stick out in my brain, they treated me the worst, the two boys "C" and "J" and one girl "E". In Jr year a mutual friend of "E" and mine moved back from another state, "E" tried to convince her to be mean to me, thankfully my friend said "No, shes never done anything mean to me" and wouldn't join in on the bullying.
Because of the bullying I didn't go to my junior or senior proms, I never went to clubs, I never went to the mall, and I didn't take class trips (excluding a band/choir trip). I grew thick skin(yet weak all the same) and I offended people, I let people "use" me, and I tried way to hard, I overcompensated.
The bullying I received in high school has had lasting effects, difficulty making friends, depression, anxiety.
I still get used, and I still offend people even though I try my hardest not to. I am no longer the depressed individual I used to be, but I am still very damaged.
If I could tell someone being bullied anything, it would be "You are not alone, I love you and I am here for you, it doesn't have to be this way!" I would encourage them to speak with an adult about it. I would encourage them to fight back, not with mean words or weapons, but with a smile on your face.
Love and Hugs,
Even through the tough stuff,