Poetry From Yester-years

I have been going through all my old "memory" boxes for a blog post that I am working on. As I was going through all of them I found quite a bit of poetry. I figured I would share a couple poems with you, enjoy!

Someone Once Told Me (2003)

someone once told me to write from my heart, I already did.

Someone once told me never to do drugs, I never did.

Someone once told me never to argue, I said that was my best subject. 

Someone once told me not to push my luck, I already had.

But once, someone told me I was stupid, and no one wanted me because I was adopted, I just cried.

Like Him (2003)

I wish I could write like him.

I wish I had the passion to see how he sees.

I wish I had the courage to act the way he does.

I wish I were brave enough to ask like him.

I wish I could feel pain and sorrow the way he does.

Is it fair that he could be so perfect when I have so many flaws?

Love and Hugs,

Sara

OK, I Admit It!

So I keep seeing these "OK, I Admit It" posts, and I decided I wanted to do one too! Here I go:

OK, I admit it, I have a serious love affair with prunes. They are awesome!

OK, I admit it, I ask a lot of questions, they are never stupid though, I actually really want to know the answer..

OK, I admit it, I am sorry for everything. Things that aren't my fault, things that are my fault, everything!

Conversations sometimes go like this:

"Oh, Kevin, what happened?"  

"I fell and broke my spleen."

"I'm so sorry"

"Why are you sorry, you didn't break it?"

"I just am"

Haha... Yes... I am sorry about everything! 

OK, I admit it, I have become a major chocoholic. It is an addiction that I am working on!

OK, I admit it, every time I make coffee I mix the grounds in. It doesn't matter what I do to try and not get grounds in the coffee, it still happens.... Always!

Letters to my Former Single Self

This weeks Question:

What did you think about dating and relationships when you were little?  

What do you think of them now?

Dear Adolescent/teenage Sara,

Its me, well, you, from the future! 

When you were really really young, maybe around 5 you always figured relationships were like the movies, the prince would come and pull you onto the back of his horsey and you would ride off into the sunset! 

Do you remember your first crush? Of course you remember Justin, you could never, and will never forget him. Remember all the plans you had for your lives? You both were going to move to Japan and he was going to be a martial arts instructor? You both were so cute in your innocent years. I'm sorry things fell apart between you both a few years ago, but trust me, even though you are still hurting it was for the best, don't hold a grudge! 

I was reading through some of our old journal entries the other day, I saw a lot of entries that read something like this "I really wonder if Josh likes me" or "Zach is so nice, I wouldn't deserve to have a boyfriend like him because I'm such a B**** to every one!" (which is true you are, but, you have a lot of barriers and walls up because you have been hurt by so many people).  You didn't know much about relationships or dating, you didn't even know what someone did on a date. Yes, you saw the people holding hands and kissing at school, and that's what you thought a relationship and dating someone was, just hanging out with someone of the opposite sex and holding hands and kissing.  

Your first real boyfriend Anthony, well, he was awesome, he also broke your heart, ha ha, sad story. I'm sorry I'm making fun of you, I should be nicer... No, never mind, its who we are.. Anyways, he was the one who taught you how relationships should be, he did a terrible job, sorry about that. 

Over the years since Anthony, I have gained valuable information on relationships and dating. Remember that everything happens for a reason and to never stop loving yourself! Here's some advice:

Take time to "date" don't rush into a relationship, there is no need to rush into anything! The guy that god has for you will wait and treat you right.

You know mom and dads "No dating until you are 16 rule"? Listen to it, its a really good rule!

Don't let boys get in the way of school, you can't get high school back!

Pray (I know you don't really believe in God right now, but seek him anyways) for your future dates, and relationships. Pray for yourself and for your future husband. Philippians 4:6 says Don't worry about anything, instead pray about everything. Tell god what you need and thank him for all he has done. So do just that!

Be true to yourself, if you cant be you with the person whom you are with then they are not the right person for you. If they have nothing in common with you, then they probably are not the person for you. 

Its OK to say "Goodbye, its over"!

Don't look for someone to rescue you, you rescue yourself!

Relationships are hard work, but so worth it!

Lastly, you are amazing, sweet, kind, beautiful, and funny. Your smile is so infectious, show off that dimple! Never settle for anyone who dulls your sparkle, you are worth so, so, so much more then that!

I love you,

Your 26 year old self!

I hope many of you are doing this link up also! I cant wait to see what others have said!

Love and Hugs,

Sara

Love/Hate Relationships

via

5 things I love currently:

1. Crocheting and Yarn- this has become a major addiction lately! Like way worse then before, Its so bad I need to organize my yarn closet... Yes, my yarn stash has its own closet!

2. Fox's Tuesday night line up Raising Hope, Ben and Kate, New Girl, and The Mindy Project.

3. God.. I love God, I have this relationship with him now that I have never had before. I owe it all to a good friend of mine, I can never thank him enough(you know who you are, thank you if you ever read this). Before I was just going through the motions, now I know Him, its amazing, He's amazing, I could go on for paragraphs, I will spare you though.

4. Blogging. In a recent devotion I posted on my church's Facebook page I said "I want to inspire people, I want to be the reason someone starts something, doesn't give up, or makes a change. I want to make people smile and laugh. I want to impact people's lives! "  And through this Blog I am doing just that!

5. Journaling! Every type, I have about 10 journals going right now, all are for different things, well except for 3 but that's a long story. I will have a post coming up about all my journaling in the next few weeks..

5 things that I hate:

1. My recent love-affair with sweets. I could probably drop a bunch of weight if I could just lay off doe a bit.

2. That my I-Pizzle (ipod, I nicknamed him. I am odd I do realize this) is broke-dizzle! Haha, OK I will stop that!

3. That my baby sister is homeless, please pray for her, she is super lost.

4. That one human being can be so hurtful, horrid, or cruel to another. It just saddens me to no end...

5. Talk radio. Lets just say, I gagged in my car today because of the nasty-ness I heard this morning!

Share! What is on your list?

Love and Hugs,

Sara

Being Bullied

There has been a lot of talk about people being bullied lately. I have seen numerous articles and newscasts regarding bullying. Teenagers who have ignored it, teenagers who killed themselves because of it, teenagers who are fighting back against it. I fear though that people think that bullying is "new", this is definitely is not true, it is just getting more media attention now then it has in the past. I graduated from high school about 9 years ago, bullying was just as present then as it is now. Maybe more present because it wasn't as known about as it is now. I know this, because, I was a victim, I was bullied every single school day of my 4 years in high school. I hated high school, I didn't want to go because when I did I suffered. 

My freshman year of high school I was nominated for homecoming court as a joke. This was the first and only time I "fought back" against the bullying. I participated in everything the homecoming court nominees do, the rally's and spirit week stuff. I wasn't going to let "them" get to me. I got a pretty skirt and shirt to wear, and I wore my smile proudly. I knew I wouldn't win, but I didn't let anyone get me down. I loved it. My neighbor's daughter Kristin did my makeup for the day, and I remember feeling pretty special. 

I don't really remember what changed, but I lost that "fight" I had shortly after homecoming. 

Before school, breaks, and lunches were spent "hiding" in classrooms. I would do homework or just sit there bored because that was better then leaving the room and hearing my peers poke fun at me. I would often hear; "Boom, Boom, Boom", "Whale", "Earthquake!", or "MOOO" when I walked by. There were three people who stick out in my brain, they treated me the worst, the two boys "C" and "J" and one girl "E".  In Jr year a mutual friend of "E" and mine moved back from another state, "E" tried to convince her to be mean to me, thankfully my friend said "No, shes never done anything mean to me" and wouldn't join in on the bullying.

Because of the bullying I didn't go to my junior or senior proms, I never went to clubs, I never went to the mall, and I didn't take class trips (excluding a band/choir trip). I grew thick skin(yet weak all the same) and I offended people, I let people "use" me, and I tried way to hard, I overcompensated. 

The bullying I received in high school has had lasting effects, difficulty making friends, depression, anxiety.

 I still get used, and I still offend people even though I try my hardest not to. I am no longer the depressed individual I used to be, but I am still very damaged.  

If I could tell someone being bullied anything, it would be "You are not alone, I love you and I am here for you, it doesn't have to be this way!" I would encourage them to speak with an adult about it. I would encourage them to fight back, not with mean words or weapons, but with a smile on your face.

Love and Hugs,

Even through the tough stuff,

Sara

Random thoughts of the week

Welcome to Sara's Random Thoughts of the Week, I was thinking of doing this weekly, but maybe thats to much. Anyways, it's just a collection of random thoughts that I felt like sharing yet didn't want to bog Facebook down with.

• I'm fasting Starbucks, and dining out for 10 more days. I contemplated going to panama red for an iced coffee this morning. The more I think about it though, I kinda realize I'm fasting Starbucks, I gave that up for God, and if I am replacing it with Panama Red I am not truly fasting. At least in the case of Starbucks/panama red.

• So, sad random fact about me: I always have food in my purse, currently I have prunes, trail mix bars, pistachios, a Lara bar, a banana and applesauce. You never know when you(or someone else) might need to eat.

• 3 things, I think I am wearing men's socks, I was to lazy to wash my hair so I put it in a 2 layer ponytail and pinned my bangs back, and I am wearing the same clothes I wore last night(new underpants of course though) because I only wore them for a few hours and they were still clean.

Haha, Hope you totally enjoyed that and got a good laugh in!

Love and Hugs,

Sara

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