There has been a lot of talk about people being bullied lately. I have seen numerous articles and newscasts regarding bullying. Teenagers who have ignored it, teenagers who killed themselves because of it, teenagers who are fighting back against it. I fear though that people think that bullying is "new", this is definitely is not true, it is just getting more media attention now then it has in the past. I graduated from high school about 9 years ago, bullying was just as present then as it is now. Maybe more present because it wasn't as known about as it is now. I know this, because, I was a victim, I was bullied every single school day of my 4 years in high school. I hated high school, I didn't want to go because when I did I suffered.
My freshman year of high school I was nominated for homecoming court as a joke. This was the first and only time I "fought back" against the bullying. I participated in everything the homecoming court nominees do, the rally's and spirit week stuff. I wasn't going to let "them" get to me. I got a pretty skirt and shirt to wear, and I wore my smile proudly. I knew I wouldn't win, but I didn't let anyone get me down. I loved it. My neighbor's daughter Kristin did my makeup for the day, and I remember feeling pretty special.
I don't really remember what changed, but I lost that "fight" I had shortly after homecoming.
Before school, breaks, and lunches were spent "hiding" in classrooms. I would do homework or just sit there bored because that was better then leaving the room and hearing my peers poke fun at me. I would often hear; "Boom, Boom, Boom", "Whale", "Earthquake!", or "MOOO" when I walked by. There were three people who stick out in my brain, they treated me the worst, the two boys "C" and "J" and one girl "E". In Jr year a mutual friend of "E" and mine moved back from another state, "E" tried to convince her to be mean to me, thankfully my friend said "No, shes never done anything mean to me" and wouldn't join in on the bullying.
Because of the bullying I didn't go to my junior or senior proms, I never went to clubs, I never went to the mall, and I didn't take class trips (excluding a band/choir trip). I grew thick skin(yet weak all the same) and I offended people, I let people "use" me, and I tried way to hard, I overcompensated.
The bullying I received in high school has had lasting effects, difficulty making friends, depression, anxiety.
I still get used, and I still offend people even though I try my hardest not to. I am no longer the depressed individual I used to be, but I am still very damaged.
If I could tell someone being bullied anything, it would be "You are not alone, I love you and I am here for you, it doesn't have to be this way!" I would encourage them to speak with an adult about it. I would encourage them to fight back, not with mean words or weapons, but with a smile on your face.
Love and Hugs,
Even through the tough stuff,
Sara
What's funny is, we went to the same HS, and I lived the same way. Do boys ever get more creative then mooing? No, probably not. I do remember you being nominated for court. I was in my senior year and let me tell you something you don't know; the conversations about this went on for weeks in my classes. Yes, there where a few lame people who found this to be halirous, but then there where people who defended you even though they didn't ever really know you. These where people, such as myself, who where touched by your story, and courage. They, on many occasions, fought back with clever words aginst any that opposed you. One person would say something stupid, and a team of others would jump in and defend you. They where amazed by the amount of courage you presented. To us, we enjoyed watching their plan fail, their plan to bring you down. In more then one class, I heard agreements being made that their vote would be made for you because you where no longer Sara, the girl nominated as a joke, you where Sara, saying a metaphorical "f-you" to all the people who deserved it. You helped more people then you know. Those bruised feelings will fade in time, but you will always remember the sting. But please remember that for a few weeks, you where the hope for a lot of other people, and that one week, made all the diffrence for us, for me, a fellow loner fatty.
ReplyDeleteAwe Collette, That made me cry! Thanks for that. And girl you were class of 03 right? lol I was 04! Its nice to know that there were some people out there who people out there who were defending me. I am glad that I was able to help people in some small way.
DeleteWasn't your prophecy something about writing?!! Cause WOW, this was an amazing post!! Written and explained so well. You, my friend, are going to do insane things for God, I just feel it inside. The words you write are going to touch so many hearts and lives for God. What you have been through, just yell that out to the world because even though it hurt while you were going through it, WHAT A TESTIMONY THAT IS!! A testimony that will encourage others such as the comment above. Happy to have you as a friend and as a leader in our church :) You are very appreciated.
ReplyDeleteYes it was. It wasn't necessarily something about religion also. I cant remember all of what she said, lol, wells, rivers, journaling.. Explosions etc...
DeleteYour newest follower via GFC Bloglovin Instagram and Twitter. Visiting from the Monday Mingle.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.happykidsinc.blogspot.com
Thank you!
DeleteThank you for sharing this post. Bullying is a groaning problem all over the world. It happens among peers and even in families where kids are struggling to be something or someone they are not for their parents sake. My son, in his new year resolution, wrote I will not let kids pick on me. It brought tears to my eyes and made me feel more protective of him. You can only do so much and hope when the time comes he can stand up for himself.
ReplyDeleteI am following you now and would love for you to follow along.
Jillian
http://puzzlemecomplete.blogspot.com/2013/01/she-called-her-gan.html
Hi Sara, just stopping by to say how touching your blog is. Thanks so much for sharing. I have recently found your blog and am now following you, and will visit often. Please stop by my blog and perhaps you would like to follow me also. Have a wonderful day. Hugs, Chris
ReplyDeletehttp://chelencarter-retiredandlovingit.blogspot.ca/